House of Deej
August 12, 2008
Boxing Boob Blooper
I appear to have had one of those Freudian moments today. Who knew I was a violent person masked behind a mellow demeanor? I certainly didn't.
Remember last winter when I had my boobie moment happening? It was the whole thing with the cyst, the biopsy, and a positive outcome that I didn't have to deal with that ugly disease that starts with a "c". Because of all of that, I had to have a six month follow-up mammogram on my naughty boobie.
Lucky me; today was the official "smash the boobie" day. I know it's a good thing, but it still isn't the most pleasant experience in the world. Truly, I would rather have a root canal - but then - you all know I've discovered a recent passion for going to the dentist. Yes, I am sick!
There I was in the room with the tech and the boobie smashing machine. She'd just completed the smashage and was getting the films ready to run across the hall to be checked. While they do that, they don't want me to get dressed in case something went wrong and a second smoosh becomes necessary.
Even so, I felt it would be okay to slip the gorgeous hospital gown back on while I waited. I was wriggling into the gown while she reached for the slides of my breast. She turned just as I jammed my hand through the sleeve. My hand connected solidly with her face!
In horror I looked at her and began apologizing profusely. Seriously, I don't like mammograms, but I don't tend to smack the people whose job it is to administer them. She laughed and said it really didn't hurt. I can only imagine how red my face was - hell, I was far more embarrassed about this than I was when she was manipulating my boob to get the perfect pic of it.
So there you have it - my first act of violence. Don't piss me off, peeps - I'm obviously rather dangerous when smashed!
Peace
Remember last winter when I had my boobie moment happening? It was the whole thing with the cyst, the biopsy, and a positive outcome that I didn't have to deal with that ugly disease that starts with a "c". Because of all of that, I had to have a six month follow-up mammogram on my naughty boobie.
Lucky me; today was the official "smash the boobie" day. I know it's a good thing, but it still isn't the most pleasant experience in the world. Truly, I would rather have a root canal - but then - you all know I've discovered a recent passion for going to the dentist. Yes, I am sick!
There I was in the room with the tech and the boobie smashing machine. She'd just completed the smashage and was getting the films ready to run across the hall to be checked. While they do that, they don't want me to get dressed in case something went wrong and a second smoosh becomes necessary.
Even so, I felt it would be okay to slip the gorgeous hospital gown back on while I waited. I was wriggling into the gown while she reached for the slides of my breast. She turned just as I jammed my hand through the sleeve. My hand connected solidly with her face!
In horror I looked at her and began apologizing profusely. Seriously, I don't like mammograms, but I don't tend to smack the people whose job it is to administer them. She laughed and said it really didn't hurt. I can only imagine how red my face was - hell, I was far more embarrassed about this than I was when she was manipulating my boob to get the perfect pic of it.
So there you have it - my first act of violence. Don't piss me off, peeps - I'm obviously rather dangerous when smashed!
Peace
posted by DeeJay at 07:21
16 Comments:
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haha, That's funny. Was it a hard hit ?
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That's what she gets.
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shoulda smacked her in the boob, pay back ;)
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Boy oh boy how many times have I wished I could give the boobie smashing tech and good wack :)
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Subconscious revenge, eh? ;) Hope the results of the mammoslam is clear!
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Is this a hidden warning for men not to squish your boobs? :-)
What's the result of this boobie squishing?
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Agh... crap... sorry Deej, smack me.
Agggghhh hang on....
*trying to work out how to talk without being naughty*
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I'm going to have to talk you into coming with me for my next round at the VA! lol
btw, I did that once to a doctor who had just finished shoving a scalpel under one of my fingernails. Problem was, he was a major and I was an airman...eek!
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You don't know how many times I wished I could have done that to some of the technicians I had to deal with! I actually had a dream the night before the thyroid biopsy that I was holding the male doctors testicles in my hand. I simply said "You don't hurt me...I don't hurt you"
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You know ... about two years ago my wife's OB/GYN detected a discharge from a nipple. They first talked about doing a biopsy, taking a sample from the nipple. We decided to defer for a while but later decided to go ahead (it was a busy year and we had a lot of things going on).
But when we finally decided to have it, it wasn't that at all. She had an MRI done (which came out negative), and not only did she save all of her nipple but she also didn't need a regular mammogram that year--the MRI took care of it.
So why can't they do MRIs instead of squishing poor, innocent boobies that never did anyone any harm? And it may save a few lab techs from black eyes, too.
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MRIs cost more to do I guess. Expensive machine,takes two technicians to operate, clogs up waiting list, all the usual red tape...
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Windy - Nope, it wasn't hard, but I still felt terrible! LOL
Cherry - I must say, it was the most uncomfortable mammo I have ever had.
Sarai - Good point. Next time, if I smack, I'll aim lower!
Nikkie - Follow the plan I used! It worked!
LV - Me too! I'm hoping to hear the results soon.
Logis - No guy better plan on smooshing my boobies the way those mammo techs do!
Cherry - Ha! But you know we love you!
Treasa - LOL Did you get in trouble for that one??
LMC - LOLOLOLOL That would have been hysterical if it were real and not a dream. That cracked me up!
Dr. Dog - It is all about the expense. Mammos are less expensive and about as effective. : )
Cherry - You are brilliant!
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No, thankfully, he decided it was a reflexive action and complimented me on having a good right hook from a hospital bed, but I was mortified.
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One time the mamo tech kept the machine on me for so long I actually had bad thoughts of what I'd do to her when she finally released it. I hope this one comes out ok!
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Treasa - LOL At least you didn't get into trouble over it! I was mortified too. I'm NOT a hitter!
Laurie - Ouch! That would hurt! I'm not overly worried about this one; the results should probably be back early next week. : )
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"...I was wriggling into the gown while she reached for the side of my breast..."
That was all I needed to read to make my day!!!
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